Conflict is apart of everyday life and can seem to range from severe to relativley minor. In my own personal life I have been exposed to major ammounts of conflict. Some brought upon myself by my-self, and some out of my control, regardless of how conflict is brought upon someones life, it must be dealt with in an appropriate way. This excericise is the first “reflection” exercise that i have done in quiet some time. In terms of how i tend to deal with conflict really varies in each situation, that being said; i have a “short temper”, or so they say.
As a child and teenager I can remember getting very angry, not being able to control my emotions and saying exactly what I was thinking regardless of the consequences; the consequences usually consisted of some adult getting upset because i hurt thier feelings. I look back on some of these situations and i still feel justified in the things i said. I have had a some what unusual childhood so please dont get me wrong, Iv had a lot of conflict that most people do not experience.
An interesting thing about “conflict” is that having conflict, can cause another conflict; that is, having a type of conflict can cause another internal conflict within. for example if a childs parents abandonded the child to use drugs, and that child bounces through a number of foster homes and is raised the the goverment till its 19th birthday, the child will have an ongoling conflict within itself regardling feeling loved and trusting people. A very clear example of how one conflict can be the cause of another conflict.
In my young adult years i havenow mastered other ways to handle conflicts that come about. Sometimes conflict can be handled at that moment in time and they are rarley thought of again, such as; someone stealing the parking spot you were waiting for, frusturating for sure, but reasonable people move on to find another spot after they vent a little in thier own heads, or perhaps even flipping the parking spot stealer the finger, then move on. However some conflict is not setteled easily and may even never be dealt with.
Thats the most common conflict that i have in my life, and how Iv decided to handle that is to let it all go, block the causes of the conflict out entierly. This theory works for many diffrent situations and people, my own personal experience in life has lead me to compleatley cut the causes of my conflict both new life conflicts and deeply rooted severly painful internal and lifelong conflict, all caused by my parents and family. My parents have caused huge problems both internally and externally in my life, my entire life. No need to get into my life story, but when it comes to conflict iv come to realize that if you cant deal with it, then cut it out.
I have cut out my parents and 95 percent of my family, not only out of my life but out of my two daughters lives too. There are minor exceptions that we find ourselves in the same room (with the exception of my father) but we do not communicate in any way, we are simply together out of respect for my grandmother, there are 3 occassions that are morally impossible to escape the presence of my mother and family. Handling conflict in my life has been complicated yet rewarding. the experiences that i have endured have made me a better person both in values and the notion of independance.