Debates on gay marriages

The debate on same sex marriage in America is a contentious one. Whether or not same sex partners should be allowed to marry and have similar benefits as traditional married couple still remains the biggest issue in today’s debate on gay marriages. While gay marriages are still widely practiced in the world, only a few countries acknowledge them as legal. Same sex couples thus do not enjoy the benefits which accrue or arise from marriage unions. This has raised question about the human rights and also equality rules especially in America.

It is argued that the country has a mandate to protect and safeguard all its citizens’ rights as long as the existence and practice of such rights is not harmful to the society. Religious groups have been on the lead to fight against gay marriages citing that such practices are not only immoral but also a sin to God (Messerli, 2008). Critics of such faith call on the government to separate its operations from the religion as the law demands. Both the groups opposing same sex marriage and those for same sex marriage thus have a big task in fighting for what they believe in.

However, despite the arguments put across for or against gay marriages, all people should be given a chance to exercise their freedom of choice if such freedom does not curtail the happiness of another person or the society at large. Why gay marriages should be legalized Marriage is an institution whereby both the partners seek to find safety and affection. Gay marriages offer the same kind of benefits as the traditional marriage. Every individual has a right to find safety, to give and to receive affection and to be protected by law while acquiring these essentials.

Illegalizing gay marriages would thus translate to denying a person these fundamental rights which are necessary for finding happiness. Safety provided in marriages leads to more stable society and as such, gay marriages should be encouraged if the society is to remain united, safe and successful. Marriages encourages people to develop strong family ties and values thus giving up or abandoning sexual lifestyles which may be risky to them especially in this AID’S era. As such, same sex marriage should be encouraged and not illegalized (Godfrey, 2004).

Conservatives condemning same sex marriages argue that gay people cannot offer love, show affection or commit to the marriage because people are created in a manner that they are only able to show affection to the different sex. This has however been disputed by psychologist as baseless since love and commitment is something that is developed overtime. During the development and establishment of a relationship, couples face different forms of obstacles which determine whether they become committed to their relationships or not (Messerli, 2008).

Problem solving techniques during this stage determines the level of commitment an individual exhibits later in marriage. All couples whether gay or heterosexual faces problems and exhibits different levels of commitment in marriages. Thus saying that gay marriage should be illegalized on the basis of commitment is erroneous. A study which was carried out by journal researcher sought to establish the conflict arising from interaction for both gay couples and heterosexuals revealed that gay married couples tend to have more positive emotional response than the heterosexuals.

This study also revealed that discussions of gay couples are characterized by more humor and affection than those of the heterosexuals. How a couple starts a conversation is vital in determining whether the marriage lasts or is dissolved. Heterosexual couples fail in this and thus encouraging gay marriages may serve as a wake up call for them (Godfrey, 2004). Procreation is another argument used in attempts to illegalize gay marriages. The anti gay marriages argue that the purpose of marriage is to bear and rear children which the gay couples are not able to.

Most gay married couple however adopts children who they successfully rear. This is important in helping to create a better foundation for the future for these kids. As such encouraging gay marriage is not only beneficial for the kids but also for the whole nation. However, the anti gay activists argue that these couples lack the ability to raise these kids as normal human people as most of them turn to be gay. Studies on the contrary show that gay couples raise children who are less stereotyped especially on issues concerning gender roles.

Also, same sex couples tend to be more concerned about their children than heterosexual couples thus creating stronger family ties (Messerli, 2008). Discrimination is against the laws of the country and should not be practiced whatsoever. Gay couples are a minority in the country and though America has a majority rule concept, the minorities in the country should be protected always. Illegalizing gay marriages may thus amount to minority discrimination. This would only serve to reduce the unity of the country. An individual’s decision should be respected and valued as long as it is not harmful to the society or to other individuals.

The government should not let the society dictate what a person can or cannot do as long whatever a person does is not detrimental to the society. Separation of the states activities and non harmful activities of a person should be put in place to avoid conflict. By illegalizing gay marriages, this would amount to meddling of the government in their citizens’ personal lives (Godfrey, 2004). Religion and state are two distinct entities which should not be mixed wile making corporate or nation wide decisions which affect the citizens.

Religious groups have been on the forefront in fighting gay marriages citing that it is contrary to the biblical teachings. Gay marriages are thus seen as being immoral and ungodly. Different individual subscribe to different believes while others do not believe at all. No person should be forced to comply with certain believes of another individual if such action hurts the person. By classifying gay marriages as evil and thus illegalizing them would be subjecting all individuals in the country to such believes. This would deny the citizens their freedom of worship and religion.

Gay marriages should be separated from church activities. What people do with their private lives should not be used as a basis of classifying them as either being evil or righteous (Messerli, 2008). Sexual inclination has nothing to do with choice as some of anti gay marriages argue as scientists and biologists have found out. While it was largely believed that being gay or heterosexual was a matter of choice, recent studies have shown that an individual does not choose who to be attracted to, that is, whether same sex or opposite sex.

Gay people are born being gay and thus it is impossible for them to become heterosexual as the community dictates. This is evident in that most to gay persons tend to have strong characteristics of the opposite sex which makes them to be attracted to a same sex person. Homosexual males tend to have softer voices comparable to those of women while homosexual females may have masculine figures bodies and high cheek bones. Being gay comes with many disadvantages like being discriminated and abused. No normal person would choose a lifestyle characterized with alienation and being discriminated against.

Gay marriages should not be denied to such individuals as this would be denying them a chance to experience the happiness associated with marriage and the benefits thereof (Godfrey, 2004). Another argument against legalization of gay marriages is that traditionally, marriage is supposed to be a heterosexual institution. This is not sufficient argument in that even slavery in the early decades was meant to a traditional institution although its effects were negative. Denying gay people a chance to become what they really are on the basis of traditional practices deemed to be important is erroneous.

The tradition of marriage being heterosexual has no moral standing and thus should be done away with just like slavery was discarded. The society should embrace the changes as evolution continues. Gay marriage is also seen as a threat to the institution of marriage. This however raises the question of how allowing gay couples to marry would threaten this institution. Allowing gay couples to marry would instead help reduce the level of divorce and separation being encountered today in America. By allowing gay marriages, this would help reduce forced marriages between couples who marry people they are not really attracted to.

This in turn leads to conflicts in the marriage since the couples cannot relate well in matters of sexuality and in showing affection. Children resulting from such families suffer due to the strained marriage relationships of their parents. Allowing gay marriage would also give people the freedom of choice to choose the kind of marriage they participate in according to their sexual orientation (Bidstrup, 2004). Anti gay marriages argue that legalizing gay marriages would only harm the society by weakening the traditional marriage.

On the contrary, legalizing gay marriage would only serve to strengthen the commitment of heterosexuals. This is because most of gay marriages are characterized by maturity and gay couples are more considerate in dealing with their partners. Gay couples also have greater awareness on matters relating to equality which heterosexual couples lack. Introduction of gay marriages would help bring equilibrium in the entire marriage environment thus more stability. Another virtue that the heterosexual couples may learn from the gay marriages is honesty and openness.

Gay couples are more open and honest while dealing with sexuality related issues. This in turn helps strengthen their ties and their commitment. By legalizing such marriages, the heterosexual couples may be challenged to adopt such virtues thus solidifying their family ties (Messerli, 2008). It is also argued that same sex marriage legalization would lead to an increase in immorality and other forms of undesirable behaviors in the society. By legalizing gay marriages, anti gay marriages activists argue that it would lead to moral degradation in the country.

Polygamy and incestuous marriages are also predicated to increase with gay marriage legalization. This however is not true in that there is no direct link between such practices and gay marriage legalization. These fears are thus unfounded and should not be considered as important while dealing with gay marriages issues. Some people practice polygamy even without gay marriage legalization. People should not be denied a chance to enjoy their biological inclination due to unproved ideologies by the society.

Gay couples should be accorded the respect they deserve and the law should aim at preserving their identity (Bidstrup, 2004). Anti gay marriages activists also argue that by legalizing these marriages, this would encourage more people to become gay thus bringing a rise in the gay relationships and marriages. This is however not true because being gay is not something a person learns or decides to do. Being gay is biological and thus a person who is not biologically born gay may not become gay even after legalization of gay marriages.

Contrary to this believe, legalizing gay marriages would lead to strengthening interpersonal relationships among all individuals in the community. This would also help bring up a society which is not stereotyped on gender orientation and on gay marriages. Children raised by gay parents usually suffer from discrimination in schools and other social activities which may lead to conflicts in sexual identification. There is thus dire need to legalize gay marriages to cub these effects in the society and to enhance cooperation (Messerli, 2008). Population increase in the past has been a major concern for all the countries in the world.

Different ways have been suggested to reverse this trend to no avail. It is hard to sustain population growth and this has detrimental effects on both the ecosystem and the environment in general. Increase in population leads to a strain in the country’s resources. Apart from benefits accruing to the gay individuals by legalizing gay marriages, the government is also bound to benefit in its long fight for population control. Gay couples cannot get their own biological children which could be an effective tool to fight population growth (Bidstrup, 2004).

To ensure all citizens are equally and fairly treated, the government should put up laws to protect their rights. The right to fall in love with whoever a person chooses should be protected and upheld. As such gay marriages should be legalized to reduce the stigmatization subjected to gay people. Another way to ensure that these rights are upheld is by creating awareness on the importance of justice and fair treatment for all people to the citizens. No form of discrimination based on gender or sex should be encouraged in the country. Conclusion

Human beings are free beings and their rights of choice should not be curtailed if the choices they make have no negative effects to the society or the nation. Gay people have a right to be happy and to derive happiness which emanates from marriage institutions. As such, they should be granted equal rights as the heterosexual beings. Currently, though gay marriages are celebrated in a civil manner, the couples are denied the rights which accompany marriage. For example, gay couples cannot own jointly properties and are also not recognized by the law as married people.

Such activities are discriminatory and should be avoided always. The appropriate amendments should be made in the marriage act so as to include the gay marriages. Reference: Bidstrup S. (2004): Gay Marriage: The Arguments and the Motives. Retrieved on 23rd December 2008 from, http://www. bidstrup. com/marriage. htm. Godfrey B. (2004): An Argument for Same-Sex Marriage. Retrieved on 23rd December 2008 from, http://brighten. bigw. org/projects/same-sex_marriage/presentation. pdf Messerli J. (2008): Should Same-Sex Marriages be legalized? Retrieved on 23rd December 2008 from, http://www. balancedpolitics. org/same_sex_marriages. htm.